7/23/2021 – Coming home was a bittersweet feeling. I was ecstatic to be home in my own surroundings, my dogs and my family. I looked around my house and I felt extreme anxiety. I really enjoyed our new home and I felt bad for my family having to take care of it while I was gone all month. I knew it would be a long time before I could help with the daily chores. The kitchen island was filled with flowers, plants and cards. It was very overwhelming to see all my friends and family reach out with their love and support.

Immediately my daughter wanted to make me lunch. We really raised an amazing 19 year old. She has her teenage moments for sure. But at this time I was really tired. I felt the need to take a nap. I wanted to escape and go in a hole and die. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t scream. I was just numb. Bring home was a lot harder than I thought it would be.

I didn’t have therapy for another 2 weeks and I refused to lay in bed and do nothing. I gave myself a schedule which included Bible study by myself in the morning and journaling. I then proceeded to climb up my 20 stairs (with supervision) and visit my upstairs rooms. I missed going upstairs where we had a small gym, a game room, our daughter’s bedroom and mine and my husband’s work offices.