Do you ever get so wrapped up in your own self pity to the point you only can see through the lenses of pity. If only I could have my arms and legs back, my life would be fixed. I’m not asking for much. I was 24/7 fixated on the fact I couldn’t do things and live my life. My life was over. I’m not being dramatic, it was truly how I felt. I wallowed in despair day in and night. I couldn’t even stand being by myself.
The morning of April 6, I woke up, again feeling hopeless. Brushed my teeth, washed my face and got ready for therapy. My routine every morning is to read my devotional books while I take my vitamins. As I opened up the Jesus Calling book by Sarah Young, God had a stern but gentle reminder for me.
Bring to me the SACRIFICE of THANKSGIVING. Before Satan tempted Eve in the garden of Eden, thankfulness was as natural as breathing. Satan’s temptation was pointing Eve to the one thing forbidden to her. The garden was filed with luscious, desirable fruits, but Eve focused on the one fruit she couldn’t have rather than being thankful
Jesus Calling April 6 by Sarah Young
for the many good things freely available. This negative focus darkened her mind, and she succumbed to temptation.
When you focus on what you don’t have or on situations that displease you, your mind also becomes darkened. You take for granted
lite, salvation, sunshine, flowers, and countless other gifts from Me.
You look for what is wrong and refuse to enjoy life until that is “fixed.”
When you approach Me with thanksgiving, the Light of My Presence pours into you, transforming you through and through.
Walk in the Light with Me by practicing the discipline of thanksgiving.
What a powerful message! I immediately felt a convicted in my heart. I knew God was talking to me. My desire to have back my ability to use my arms and legs were not forbidden to me. HOWEVER, I have lost sight of what I do have because I’ve been “darkening” my mind to not enjoy life until my situation was “fixed” I had lost sight of all that I can still do. I could still use my dominant, right hand and arm to brush my teeth, wash my face, body, hair and wipe my behind. I could still feed myself, eat and swallow. I was using an AFO but it allowed me to get around and walk. It’s not comfortable and I can’t walk without it but I was making progress. I still had my cognition and it was not impaired. I have so much love and support in my life. My husband and daughter love me. My family and friends see me just the same and call me a “bad ass”.
Yes, my life has turned upside down and it’s not the season of trial that I would want. I was ready to plan traveling with my husband, sit by our pool and enjoy life. But for whatever reason, this is where God wants me to be but I know He is with me every step of the way. I can thank God He Is with me and will see me through this season. I do have a lot to be grateful for and I needed this conviction to awaken that and free my mind.
Stephanie Torres 