Category: Despair
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Life at Year 3
Where do I start? I’m up at the crack of dawn, pulling my long hair into a bun as I lace up my tennis shoes to head up out the door for a morning run, the crisp breeze feels fresh against my skin. I head home just before the sunrise and run up the stairs…
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Hard Work Pays Off, Right?
That’s what I grew up learning. Growing up from an immigrant background. I learned “we” had to work harder because it was a privilege to be in America and we had to work harder than those born here. After spending 2 years in a refugee camp, we came to the US when I was 3.…
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The Best Kind of Conviction
Do you ever get so wrapped up in your own self pity to the point you only can see through the lenses of pity. If only I could have my arms and legs back, my life would be fixed. I’m not asking for much. I was 24/7 fixated on the fact I couldn’t do things…
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My World Upside Down: New vs Old
Crying in the shower seems to be the new norm for me. It allows me to release my emotions and wail as loud as the water. Plus there is no wasting tissues on my tears and snot. I can just be me. Nobody comes in to try to hug me and fix me. I can…
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Crawling Out of My Pit
“I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.”Psalm 40:1-2 ESVhttps://bible.com/bible/59/psa.40.1-2.ESV I woke up feeling much better and actually felt good enough to venture out.…
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Living In a Pit
I’ve been living in a pit of despair for the last month and a half. I’ve lost 2 of my beloved pets, Peanut and Max. They were both 10 year old English Bulldogs. They both had problems. Peanut passed away from liver failure in February and Max had a tumor that had spread. He passed…
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Choose Your Words Carefully
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Proverbs 18:21 ESV https://bible.com/bible/59/pro.18.21.ESV For the past several weeks I’ve been battling my depression daily. To be exact, minute by minute. I was constantly telling myself how much I hated my life. All I thought about…
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God’s Peace
‘Do not permit yourselves to be fearful.’ John 14:27 AMPC This is Day 23 – Facing the Giant of Fear Devotional by United Christian Broadcasters: Worry is something you permit; peace is something you pursue. Jesus said, ‘do not permit yourselves to be fearful.’ That means you can take control of what goes on in…
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Despair 2
The thing about depression is that it’s not something you can just stop feeling or even explain why you’re feeling it. It’s not like you can say snap out of it, you have too much going for you that you shouldn’t be depressed. It’s a weight that you feel deep in your core that robs…
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Despair
About 20 days or so after being in rehab, I was cleared to move or “graduate” to the next step which was another rehabilitation facility. It was more dedicated and geared toward those individuals who wanted to get back to work and community. Given that most stroke victims are much older, they normally will go…
Stephanie Torres 