How obedient are you? Do you trust God fully but also doubt His Plans?

I’ll speak for myself. I’ve felt nudges but I don’t normally follow through with them. Mainly because I’m so wrapped up in what I want to do and I’m just too busy. Well guess what? I am pretty much sitting on my ass these days I mean God pretty much has my attention now.

A few weeks ago He put it on my heart to search to see if San Antonio had a stroke walk and it just happened to be this past weekend. I was kinda hoping it had already past so I could tell God, I did what you told me to and darn it, I missed it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 🤪

But you see it was His divine intervention and perfect timing to do so when He did. It was not too far away for me to stress and chicken out or enough time to feel I couldn’t go if my walk was not “normal” and “perfect”. So even up to the day, I was still hesitant to actually go through with it. Maybe Isaac had to work, maybe we are at the wrong park, etc, etc, etc

My honest to God thinking was He knew how depressed I was and was going to surround me with other survivors so I can see how others made it through this horrible situation. I then got pumped up and was looking forward to meeting others to give me hope, inspiration and an understanding comfort only another fellow stroke survivor could give.

You see I listened to God and thought I knew why He called me to do this like I knew His intentions but I was wrong.(Isaiah 55:8-9) Nothing like that happened. There were 2 survivors I saw in passing. One was walking too fast and the other ran past me. No conversation; no shoulder to sob on, no word of encouragement, like you’ll get through this.

I would’ve overlooked Gods blessing if I dwelled on what I thought was going to happen. But where should we put our hope? In others? No, my hope is in Him, not man or stroke survivor woman. (1 Corinthians 2:5)God proved to be faithful and gave me the strength, protected me, renewed my soul the entire time and allowed me to witness life from 2 women survivors enjoying their life. I realize even though I said I trust God, I doubted Him and the plans He had for me. I believe in time I will meet other survivors but right now, I am to totally lean on Christ alone. This is my story, not theirs and this is no competition or comparison. Not perfect by any means but by the grace of God, I managed to walked 2 miles, smiled and laughed the whole time.

All glory and honor to Jesus! 🙌🏼